I Am Not a Rug!
by DuhShiny
Summary: A khajiit gets tired of being called a rug by bandits.


"You'll make a fine rug, cat!"

It was the third bandit raid that day, somewhere around the 20th that week. It had been a long day, and an even longer week. She had been trying to get rid of all of the bandit hideouts in the area since she kept getting called upon to get rid of them, and wanted to get it over with. There were differences between the bandits she had fought, but there was a vast amount of similarities between them as well. The most irritating of these similarities being that one line. She had heard it many times before and had managed to not let it bother her too much, but after a week of hearing that line said over and over every day she had had enough.

Her red fur bristled as she quickly dispatched the other bandits and stalked toward the one that had said the offending line. He attempted to attack her, to do what his comrades had been unable to do and defeat her. She easily knocked the sword from his hand and pulled the hide shield from his arm before pulling him up close to her face by the leather strap around his torso. She lifted him slightly before speaking.

"Do you know how many times I've heard that before?" she snarled in his face.

The man looked terrified and stunned as he looked down at her with his mouth hanging slightly open and his lips twitching as if he were trying to respond.

"Too many times." she continued. "Do you all think it's that original? You all say it you know."

"W-what a-are you talking a-about?" he managed to stutter out with a slightly confused look on his face.

"Bandits!" she snapped, glaring at him irritatedly. "You see I'm a khajiit and always say "You'll make a fine rug, cat!" I'm sick and tired of it! It happens every time I fight you people. Why do you always feel the need to say that? It's not funny and it is most definitely not cute!" she responded, yelling into his face. He just looked at her stunned, amazed that he was still alive when the warrior that single handedly took down the rest of his group in a matter of seconds seemed to be completely enraged by a single sentence he had uttered moments ago had him completely disarmed and dangling in the air.

"Well? Do you have anything to say? Do you have any explanation for why everyone like you says the exact same thing when they see me?" she growled, baring her sharp fangs at the stunned bandit.

"U-umm..." he began nervously, glancing around the room as if looking for support from anybody that might have been there.

"You don't do you?!" the khajiit began again, seeming like she was going to continue on when a voice came from one of the corridors leading out of the room.

"I finished off the ones in there, it was a dead end and there wasn't much loot but- what are you doing?" a female nord with brown hair and glowing amber eyes began as she walked into the room but stopped once she saw the khajiit holding up the bandit.

"He called me a rug!" the khajiit replied indignantly, shaking the bandit for emphasis.

"So you decided to lift him into the air and yell at him?" the nord woman asked, giving the khajiit a look that just said 'Seriously?'

"You've had bandits call you that many times before, why are you acting like this now?" she added quickly as the khajiit seemed to be about to respond.

"This is at least the thousandth time this week that I've heard a bandit say that, Serana!" the khajiit replied, her grip on the leather straps tightening slightly.

Serana sighed softly before responding "You're exaggerating, we've only been on about twenty bandit raids this week. I know because you kept a list of all the hideouts to give to the guards." she said, placing her face in her palm and shaking her head slightly.

"He still called me a rug." the khajiit replied, pouting slightly, causing Serana to sigh once again.

"Put the bandit down." Serana said with her face still in her palm.

"But he called me a rug.." the khajiit whined in response.

"Oh boy, one of these moods." Serana muttered under her breath. "Come on, you need to put him down so we can bring him to the guards to be locked up." she replied.

"Locked up?" the bandit asked in a slightly higher pitch than he had when he talked earlier. Both of the females chose to ignore him.

"But he called me a rug! We can't just give him to the guards!" the khajiit replied indignantly, causing Serana to lift her face from her palm and look at the khajiit with annoyance. Then she smirked at the khajiit.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" the khajiit asked, thrown off guard as Serana slowly walked toward her with that smirk still in place. She wrapped her arms around the khajiit's waist and rested her head on her shoulder.

"Cmon, just put the bandit down so we can take him to the guards and you can get some rest." she said softly into the khajiit's ear. The khajiit could only nod in response and slowly lower the bandit to the floor from her shock.

"Good kitty." Serana said playfully, pulling out some leather strips and binding the bandit's hands.

"You want some salmon after we get rid of him?" she continued cheekily, causing the khajiit to pout.

"Seriously? Now you with the cat jokes? It was bad enough with just Aela teasing me." the khajiit responded.

"Yep." Serana replied while pulling the confused bandit toward the exit.

"You do want the salmon though don't you? I'll cook some tonight for you if you do." Serana added when she reached the door leading out of the room.

"... yes I want the salmon.." the khajiit responded slightly embarrassed.


End file.
